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The Whole Horse No. 36 - Giving Is Receiving March 31, 2014 |
Giving Is ReceivingSpotlight On Philosophy: There are so many different ideas and methodologies surrounding working with horses, how can we really know whether we are hurting our horse or not? Is there an absolute truth which can separate those who are capable of torture and cruelty and those who are not? How do we know the line? Some people believe that using draw-reins and riding their horses in Rollkür is not hurting them, and other people believe that using any mouthpiece is abusive.
In searching for answers to these issues, we came up against one question that has always been at the root of our philosophy, of our entire approach to keeping horses… who is it all for?
If we hadn't taken a spiritual path (although, as we see it, this is the path everyone is on, whether we are aware of it or not), we might not have been encouraged to explore this question so deeply in our horsemanship. After all, the bottom line of why human beings spend such a lot of time, money and effort on horses is for their own pleasure. Looking at it honestly, we came to the realizations we have made in a back-to-front way. 
Our passion has always been, above and beyond having horses around and being in their company, the physical connection - the development of that athletic, spiritual, energetic partnership which happens when we get on a horse. We only have to see how the youngsters watch us riding the older horses in fascination, and with enthusiasm, to know that, for them there is also a magic seed of something they wish to explore.
So, in seeking the truth of this phenomenon of 'engagement' between human and horse, we discovered our first big truth. In a sense it encompasses everything, we discovered that Expectations Spoil Everything. As soon as you have a 'want' or a goal, a judgement or a need in your mind and your body about a horse, any horse, it is the beginning of the end. You are collapsing what should be a vibrant network of buzzing possibilities and endless potential into one impossible place. This place, which only exists as a result of our ego, is the land of 'could be', 'should be' and 'I wish'. It is the bleakest place imaginable, because it doesn't exist. This is the land of expectations - a landscape of endless disappearing mirages.
Although it may have seemed before that it was our expectations that spurred us into action, in fact, as soon as we gave up the struggle of listening to
this storyteller of lies, we experienced both an immensely motivational freedom, and a vast relief. We also understood, when the mist cleared, that we could see the absolute truth that lay beneath.
Everyone has to come to this realization sooner or later if they seek happiness. It is the Law of the Universe. 
It binds everyone into one, and accepting it frees us to experience one-ness. As soon as we could comprehend that what we loved, above-all, about our relationship with horses was giving them what makes them feel good, we experienced a kind of epiphany. All of the doubts and grievances either melted away or took on a different tone. The suffocating feeling of obligation lifted. The new feeling of being able to offer something to the horses felt expansive and golden, like breathing fresh air at last. And guess what? You don't end up with less when you do everything authentically for your horse - quite the opposite.
Everything we have come to understand so far about horses has been thanks to this one unassuming little phrase: Giving is Receiving. It has taken us from engagement to barefoot, through so many other areas of discovery, and we know it won't end here. The journey is as enriching for us as it is for the horses we take it with. If we could give one gift to anyone who loves horses it would be these words. Peel it right down to the core, get as deep into you heart as possible, and ask yourself: Who it is all for? …you will never look back.
HHT's Try This At Home Tip When you are in different situations with your horse/s, or even just when you think about them, try to think of asking yourself this simple but fundamental question: Am I in a state of giving towards the horse, or am I in a mindset of taking? The state of 'taking' can manifest in many ways - expectation is one of the most common, but it can also exist as anxiety, dominance, being demanding, aggressive, or taking things personally. The state of giving, on the other hand, can be behind many different actions, but it always has, at root, a feeling of love, expansiveness, well-being and calm confidence. It is, by nature, a positive energetic state. If you become aware of an underlying 'taking' feeling, see if you can make this shift in your state of being towards giving. It might seem like quite an ethereal thing, but your horse will be well-aware of it, and it has the potential to improve everything about your relationship. You may well also find that it leads you towards a richer understanding of things, in whatever way is right for you to learn - whether that be from external sources of information, or from your own intuitive connection. On the road to a deep, fulfilling relationship with your horse, this question is the signpost at every cross-road, capable of guiding you in the right direction.
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